Setting Boundaries

About two and a half months ago, Rick and Heather took me to Watermelon Mountain Ranch Kennels for a training session.  It was a session that focused on training me rather than Cura.  Now, if you have been following this blog, you may be thinking something along the lines of "Aren't ALL the training sessions about training you?"  To some extent, you would be right.  This whole process has been quite a learning curve, even for someone who has lived with dogs much of my life, been involved in the training of some of them, and 'in charge' and 'responsible' for several of them.  But, this particular training session was very different since Cura was not involved at all.  It was all about learning to control other dogs in my environment.

The whole thing started because Cura and I had gotten charged by two different dogs in a very short period of time and both Cura and I were not doing so well with the prospect of other dogs in our vicinity.  I am sure that it was more me than Cura -- she was most likely responding more to my reaction than to the fact that another dog was near.  Hey, what can I say, getting bitten, no matter how minor it turned out to be, is rather traumatic.  I wasn't really afraid of getting bit again (well, I wasn't looking forward to it, either!), I was more concerned that, next time, I would not be able to stop Cura from getting hurt.  I had been successful so far but, to me, it felt that I had managed to keep Cura safe more out of luck than any kind of real control over the situation.  So, my lovely training team came up with a solution . . . go into the kennels and set boundaries for dogs that I had never met.

WHAT!!?? Don't worry, I didn't go in by myself.  Rick and Heather were with me to give me pointers and to step in if things got dicey.  Turns out I didn't really need it (quite possibly because I knew that they had my back) -- things never got out of hand at all.  Sure, it took some time for me to get the hang of setting boundaries, but at the end of the session I had managed to create not only calm, but set a circle boundary around myself that the five dogs in the pod did not attempt to cross.  Well, let me tell you, that was a serious confidence builder!

Since then I have been more or less successful at boundaries with other dogs.  I am beginning to notice that my success (or lack thereof) is reflective of my mental/emotional state at the time.  Big surprise! (she says in a voice dripping with sarcasm)  I am also noticing that my mental/emotional state is frequently influenced by the actions and attitudes of those around me.  I seem to have encountered a number of 'negative' people lately and it has taken its toll.  Hmmm . . . boundaries may come in handy for more than just the uncontrolled dogs that I encounter -- I am going to have to try it on the next negative person that comes my way!

Warning!! I am NOT a poet! :P

 Two eyes that watch for signs of distress

 A nose, always close at hand

Heart-shaped ears that hear when I call

And paws, so steady, they help me to stand





These are only a few parts of the whole


A lovely creature that nurtures my soul


 

A curly tail that shares your moods

A mouth that, soon, will fetch and carry

 Shoulders -- strong and steady when I am weak






That face, 
 
both serious 

and merry


 
These are only a few parts of the whole
A lovely creature that nurtures my soul
Although you have just begun
Thank you, already, for all you will and have done.

A Little Rusty . . .

On October 19, Cura and I went back into a face-to-face classroom.  It has been about five months since she had to be in class and that first night was certainly a lesson in 'use it or lose it'.  Now, I am not saying that Cura was completely out of control, but she had certainly forgotten that when we are in class and I am up front, standing and/or walking around, her job is to lay quietly and pretend she is not there (unless, of course something goes wrong and she needs to perform some of her more active duties).  Instead, every time I moved -- and sometimes when I didn't -- Cura stood up and came by my side.  So, she was quite fidgety that night.

The whole experience gave me great multi-tasking practice.  By that, I mean it gave me an opportunity to practice getting Cura to behave in a desired way while having much of my attention directed at something else.  If I am honest, I would say I was only moderately successful on Monday, but the next class was much better.

One of the things that I try to do, no matter how successful we are in the situation, is to reflect on different experiences.  I try to figure out what may have affect both my and Cura's behavior in that situation and what I can try next time to help things to go more smoothly.  As I was driving home that night, I did just that.  I guess I had gotten a bit spoiled since Cura was doing so well in the classroom at such an early stage (after all, by the end of the term, she had not even been going to class for two months).  So, I suppose I figured that if she had mastered that so quickly, going back to class would be a piece of cake for her -- like riding a bike . . .

But, as I was reflecting, I realized a few things.  First, one of the people in the classroom is on oxygen.  The noise from the tank was not only new but, as Rick and Heather later pointed out, it sounds very similar to the noise made by Hot Air Balloons (although much shorter and not as loud).  Cura still dislikes Air Balloons -- need I say more?  That person was absent the next class and she was much better (I don't think that was the whole challenge because she did well when that person returned in class 3 -- but it probably had something to do with it.)

Second, it had been months since I stood in front of a classroom and I believe I reverted back to pre-Cura techniques.  What are those, you ask?  Well, it was kind of like revving up a car engine.  In order to keep things interesting and energetic, I tended to increase my internal energy levels.  But, I soon learned that this only caused Cura to behave as if she expected something to happen -- that we were going to 'do' something.  Well, I was -- I was going to teach -- but SHE wasn't.  Here I was projecting all of this 'let's get ready to do something' attitude and she was responding in kind.  So, I had to develop ways to keep that energy going for teaching purposes while conveying to Cura that we were not getting ready to move.  Since I had only been doing that for a short time before the term ended -- I slid into old habits that first class back.  Ooops!

Actually, when you think about it, 2.5 hours is a pretty long time for her to just lay quietly in one place -- even if she gets up a couple of times, that is excellent (provided she is not completely disrupting the class) -- after all, I have to move around once in awhile or I start to get stiff and uncomfortable . . . 

Finally, regardless of how hard one tries, a Service Dog is still a novelty and I am sure that she was getting more attention from students that first night than she was comfortable with.  As I mentioned, days two and three were much more in keeping with her stellar performances toward the end of Spring semester -- but since I am doing so much teaching online lately, I need to keep in mind that entering the classroom after a significant break may just involve a bit of a refresher course.