Rights have Responsibilities!

I recently had an unpleasant experience at a business that allowed pet owners to bring their dogs on the premises.  Unfortunately, the person who had elected to bring their dog with them had a dog that was not socialized to being around unfamiliar dogs.  Twice, this person's dog became aggressive towards Cura and each time, the owner's reaction was to laugh.  Both times, Cura and I were surprised by the dog because my concentration was focused on shopping and not people with thier dogs coming up on us unnoticed.  (My fault because I should have been more diligent in an establishment that allowed pets -- especially after the first incident of anti-social behavior -- lesson learned, I hope.)  Anyway, this experience got me thinking about the responsibilities that go along with all those rights we hold dear . . .

***gingerly stepping up on soapbox*** (hey,my balance is bad, give me a break!)

Yes, there are places that you have the right to take your dog.  Some businesses let you bring your beloved dog in with you as you shop or provide a wonderful outside patio where you can sit with your best four-legged friend and enjoy a meal or coffee.  Of course, you have the right to enjoy these facilities!  No respectible animal lover would say otherwise and, in my experience, some of the biggest dog-lovers are those of us whose lives have been enhanced by an Assistance Dog. 

Now, here is the big ol' BUT . . .

With that right comes responsibility.  If you bring your dog into one of these places, you are responsible for controling them and insuring that they do not threaten the safety, wellbeing, or enjoyment of others.  Don't let your dog charge, growl, bark, snap, and/or lunge at other dogs or people.  If it happens (which it will at some point, no matter how well behaved your fuzzy friend is), get your companion under control immediately and for goodness sake, don't laugh when it happens time after time as if it is all a big joke!  This applies whether or not your dog reacts to another pet, a human, or an Assistance Dog.  Also, keep in mind that when your dog has an aggressive reaction to an Assistance Dog that it is potentially compromising the safety of another human being.  Even if you manage to stop your dog short of making contact with an Assistance Dog, your dog has interfered with the Assistance Dog's ability to concentrate on their job and placed the human half of the team at risk.

Hey, we all know that dogs have quirks and personalities.  Sometimes, no matter how well behaved they are usually, they just decide that they don't like something and react.  It happens.  But it is NOT funny and as the owner, you are responsible for insuring that it doesn't happen again (i.e. don't pass by the trigger repeatedly and then laugh at your dog's anti-social behavior).  You may have the right to have your dog with you at these locations, but you also have the responsibility to insure that your dog does not interfer with the ability of others to enjoy these places.  Make sure you live up to that responsibility before you bluster about your rights -- or just leave Fido at home, he may be happier if you do.

***thus endeth the soapbox***

Separation Anxiety . . . mine!

The last couple of days have been spent preparing for our trip.  We will be hitting the road bright and early tomorrow morning.  I will (once again) attempt to tweet periodically on the trip, but we all know how rubbish I can be about that!

Anyway, one of the things that is on the list of things to do was to get Cura be-a-u-ti-fied -- something I try to do for trips or other 'big' events.  It's just a good idea to make sure she is looking her best so I supplement my weekly grooming sessions with the occasional professional job.  This means that she has to be dropped off at the groomers for a few hours and I am on my own.  I may have mentioned that I spend most of this time feeling a bit lost -- think of it like you have left your purse or wallet at home for some reason and have to constantly remind yourself that you are not supposed to have it with you.  A brief moment of OMG followed by 'oh, yeah.'

Well, this time it was different.  I had a very hard time without Cura.  I spent the entire time she was at the groomers battling my anxiety.  Since my recent tumble, I have been a bit unsteady on my feet (a bit stiff) and Cura has been particularly attentive.  She usually keeps track of me, even in the house, but since the fall she has been right by my side pretty much all the time.  Let me tell you, it has been very welcome.  Maybe it was the fall, maybe it was the fact that I have been a bit unsteady, maybe my confidence has been a bit shaken from the experience -- whatever the reason, both Cura and I were very relieved when I picked her up from the groomers!

Another Expression of Disbelief (aka: eejits) . . .

Well, it is time to share another 'desbeliever' experience.  This person was more of a disbeliever who challenged Cura's ability to perform her job. Now, let me begin by saying that there are a number of people who, for lack of exposure, do not understand how a dog can help a person with a mobility/balance problem. This lack of understanding is not what landed this particular individual on my rant list. It was this person's refusal to give any consideration to the validity of my points after I explained how Cura was able to help me. This person challenged me about my status as a disabled person (because I "didn't seem to have a disablity" or "appeared to be fine"). I will not even get into the fact that one of the reasons I appear to get around so well is BECAUSE I have a Service Dog -- HELLO. Instead, I will point out the obvious fact that not all people that are legally disabled have a disability that is visible to the casual observer. Just as you can't tell that a person is subject to seizures or panic attacks by looking at them, you can't necessarily tell that I have difficulty with my balance and movement. Just because the casual observer is unable to tell that a person is disabled does not mean that they don't have one!

Even after I pointed out that not all disablities were visible to the naked eye, this person continued to be confrontational, but in a passive aggressive way. Okay, let me be honest here -- this is my personal interpretation of this person's body language and facial expression. So, to be fair, I must acknowledge the possibility that I have misinterpreted things -- it is certainly possible that I was feeling more sensitive than normal and read more into things than was intended. On the other hand, I think it is fair to recognize that this person's reaction to my explanation was less accepting/more resisting and critical than many that I have received in the past, and could very easily be placed in the 'antagonistic' category. I interpreted this person's expression to be one that showed disbelief, and I determined that there was no inclination by this person to consider the validity of my experiences over the past year. (After all, let's look at the facts, prior to Cura coming home, I fell at least once a month -- sometimes twice -- causing continual irritation/damage to my chronic back condition. Since Cura came home I have not fallen ONCE -- when did Cura come home? March 26, 2009 -- you do the math! Even if Cura did NOTHING else, she would be performing a very positive and beneficial service to me by preventing constant and recurring aggravation of a chronic condition. Amazingly enough, she does more than just this simple task -- as many of you who have been following our journey know.

So, forgive me for getting a bit bristly when confronted with various eejits that rear their obnoxious, ill-informed, intolerant, and confrontational ways.  Sometimes I wonder why they bother to ask the questions if they are not willing to accept the answers!  Ah, well -- at least eejits have become the exception to the rule.  Most people who approach me are quite nice!

A night out . . .

Cura and I attended our first Burns Night Dinner together last Saturday.  Having been to Burns Dinners in Scotland, I find it interesting how different they can be here in the States.  I say this only because there were so many 'new' things for Cura to experience at the dinner we went to the other night that she would not have encountered at a Burn's Dinner in Scotland.  The biggest challenge for her appeared to be the Pipe and Drum bands that played.  She had dealt with bagpipes before (live, outside or recorded, inside -- but never live, inside) so that was not too much of a challenge -- apart from the volume.  The drums, on the other hand . . . Well, I think the Base sounds too much like Thunder for her and she found it a bit upsetting when the first Band played.  After the second, she calmed down enough to stop panting and be a bit more relaxed (although she was safely hidden under the table).  With this improvement, I decided not to push our luck and we left before the third Band began.  We had already been there for three hours, the seats were not comfortable, and it is always better to end on a positive rather than a negative!  Besides, I was ready to go home, too.  There were a lot of people there and I needed to get away from the crowd.

On the way home, we made a stop to pick up a few things.  In the store, we encountered a small family which included a rambunctious young boy that was not only out of control, but fixated on Cura as soon as we entered the row that he was in.  I just knew that he was going to attempt to maul her (no, I am not being dramatic -- the child was bouncing up and down, whipping his coat around, racing up and down the aisle, and generally being disruptive).  To understand the significance of what happened next, a bit of background is necessary.

A few class cycles ago, when I was trying to find polite, but firm, ways to keep people from petting Cura and distracting her, Rick suggested that we start learning/using a new command.  Rick and Heather teach that one of the best and easiest ways to prevent dogs from reacting to their surroundings is to put yourself between them and anything that may trigger a reaction.  And yet, since Cura is a Service Dog, she needs to be able to pass by things that may cause a reaction in other dogs without reacting.  So, not only was I practicing placing myself in between Cura and triggers by switching her from one side to the other, but we were also practicing walking close to triggers with Cura remaining on her usual side regardless of where the triggers were.  We were getting pretty good at both methods.  The switching was challenging for me because of my mobility limitations, but my coordination was getting better -- in practice when I was 'ready' for the triggers and the need to switch, not so much in everyday situations.  Rick's suggestion essentially addressed both the 'touchy stranger' issue and my difficulties performing the switch manually.  He suggested that we teach Cura to move from one side to the other on her own in response to the command, "Switch".  We have been working on that consistently for a couple of months now and Cura is starting to respond to the command without leash guidance (about 50% of the time).

Now, back to the out of control child in the store on Saturday . . . poor Cura was within easy reach of this young boy who was bound and determined to 'touch the dog' (I am getting pretty good at reading that intention in people which makes it much easier to deal with it before it even becomes an issue).  So, as we got closer I said, "Cura, Switch." and she did it all by herself!  No guidance by the leash, no delay.  One second she was walking on my left, and then the next she had dropped a step behind me and moved to my right, putting me in between her and the child.  This accomplished two goals -- it put me in between Cura and the young boy AND it sent a very clear message to the boy and his parents that he needed to leave Cura alone.  The boy's parents called him away from us and I did not have to address either them or the boy directly.  It was the first time that we had used that command in a practical situation and it worked wonderfully!  A great success!  All and all, a great evening.

Why a Service Dog?

Since just before the first of the year, I have been working on making some adjustments in my life -- not New Year's Resolutions (I think I mentioned before that I don't really do those) -- but focusing my energies in different directions. The process involves several meetings/interviews with various people to determine the best direction to proceed. This past week, I met with a couple of different (new) individuals and spent quite a bit of time answering tons of questions. Not exactly my favorite thing -- carrying on conversations about myself with people who I have just met -- in fact I find these things very uncomfortable. But, I survived and am moving forward with the process.

And why am I sharing this? Well, each time, the conversation inevitably came around to the topic of my having a Service Dog . . . how did I come to have one, what does she do for me, how long have I had her . . . those types of things. All of these are questions that I have encountered on a number of occasions and have gotten pretty good at fielding. I was under the mistaken impression that I had encountered all the different questions that would come up -- maybe worded differently -- but essentially the same thing. Well, I was taken by surprise . . .

When I explained that one of the things that Cura helped me with was my balance, I was asked why I hadn't just gotten a cane . . . or maybe it was had I ever thought of getting a cane instead. I honestly don't really remember the exact wording. It is hard to explain all of the emotions that I felt when I heard the question (and there were a lot of them) -- but it definitely left me speechless. I mean, how does one answer that question in a way that makes sense to a person who would compare Cura's value to me with a cane? I must confess, that when I finally found the words, they sounded very clinical -- pointing out the things that Cura did that I would not be able to accomplish with a cane. But I found the question pretty offensive. Cura may be placed in the same category, legally, as things like canes and wheelchairs, but she is not some inanimate object to be leaned or parked in a corner someplace when not in use! Not to mention that she does so much more for me than any of those things could.  ***I realized when re-reading this before posting, that the statement about Cura not being put in a corner "when not in use" was not exactly accurate . . . she is frequently lying nearby, out of the way, when we are out and about - and sometimes it is in a corner.  The difference is that she is always on duty in those instances, ready to step up and help when asked (and sometimes without being asked).  But hopefully everyone gets the point I was trying to make.***

I honestly thought that the most disturbing question I would ever encounter was some version of "What is wrong with you, why do you need a Service Dog?" You know, the one where some stranger feels they have the right to ask for and receive a run down of my personal medical condition(s). The one where they expect me to justify my need for a Service Dog . . . oh, and then they play the "I didn't mean to offend you" card when I politely inform them that it is not appropriate/polite to ask a person that question (Gotta LOVE that!). Anticipating this invasion of my privacy, I have tried out various responses to date, some more comfortable and successful than others. But, this last week showed me that there were other disturbing questions that could -- and would -- be asked. To date, the most disturbing question that I have been asked infers that a lovely, generous creature, both dedicated to and successful in improving my life, is no different than an inanimate piece of medical equipment!

Please, if you are a person without a Service Dog that is reading this blog, try to remember that not everyone wishes to share their personal medical history with a stranger -- be honest, would you? (very seldom am I offended if someone asks nicely, it is simply none of their business!) More importantly from my perspective, our Service Dogs are both physically and emotionally important to our daily life. That means that -- despite what the law says -- instead of seeing them as a piece of medical equipment, we frequently see them as a new lease on life. They open doors for us that were previously closed or difficult to navigate. No matter how successful I have been in maintaining an outward picture of calm and comfort in many situations, that is all it is -- a picture. The reality was (and, to some extent, still is) very different. But Cura makes all that easier -- respect her, and me, for it.

Please, think before you speak or ask a question -- if you honestly would not mind being spoken to in such a way or asked such a question . . . well, fair enough (though I hope you will be open to the reality that your comfort zone may be different from others), but if you would rather not be spoken to in such a way or would not like to answer such a question -- don't expect another person to be comfortable either.