Mea Culpa!

When Cura first came home, due to my inexperience and a desire to 'make my life easier', I went ahead and got one of those Service Dog "certifications" that can be sent away for by just about anyone.  I have mentioned having a meaningless certification before.  Well, when the certificate came, it included a couple of "Registered Service Dog" patches.  I didn't get them put on Cura's daily vest or pack, but they were added onto her Cooling Coat.  Now that the weather is warmer, Cura is using her Cooling Coat more often and walking around town flashing the "Registered" patches all over the place. 

So what, you may ask . . . what difference does it make?  Well, here is the problem . . . by displaying patches that indicate that Cura is registered, it supports and promotes the public's misconception that Service Dogs need to be registered.  I am not sure why I did not make this connection earlier, but something that Heather said the other day suddenly clicked.  By the next day, the "Registered Service Dog" patches were removed from Cura's Cooling Coat.  I have to order another pair of her 'normal' Service Dog patches, but at least I am no longer contributing to the problem.

In reality, initially gettting the certificate and the patches was probably something that I needed to do.  I was not ready to deal with access challenges without having some kind backup -- no matter how flimsy I knew them to be.  If I could flash a patch, card, or piece of paper that others would see as validating Cura's status as a Service Dog, then I could avoid an unwanted confrontation.  Even with that support, for several months I came away from almost every access challenge with my heart pounding, hands shaking, and knees weak.  It took me a long time to feel comfortable dealing with such situations without getting overly stressed. 

Now after over a year of practice, it is time to stop leaning on these crutches and stop supporting the idea that Service Dogs should be registerd by displaying patches, etc. that indicate Cura is registered.  I apologize for buying into the hype.  I realize that I potentially made it harder for the Service Dog Team that happened to follow after me without some "registration".  Fortunately, one of the benefits of having Cura in my life for the past 15 months is gaining the skills to deal with such conflicts when they arise.  I am happy to say that I will not longer be sending out false impressions -- the patches are off! 

I have stopped 'making my life easier'.  In the long run, it is more effective to do the hard work of educating those who do not know any better.  I am now up to performing this task 100% of the time.  It may not always be fun, but it will always be worth it.  Thanks Heather for persisting and helping me to see the light!

New Experience . . .

For the past few years, I have been trying to find ways to work around my physical limitations and develop some kind of excercise routine.  Since Cura came home, I had kind of given up actively pursuing anything.  There were a few reasons, not the least of which was that after a few weeks of adopting Cura I was invovled in a car accident that further restricted my activities for several months.  But, finally, about a month ago, I had reached a point where I was ready to try, once again to develop an excersize routine that worked for me.

Since many of the things that I had either considered or actually tried in the past were either unrealistic or ended up putting too much stress on my body, I decided to try swimming.  It is a good aerobic excercise that also provides resistance to help develop and tone muscles.  On top of that, I could also participate in water resistance excercise classes.  Maybe in the future, as I get in better shape, I can try to do some basic, beginners yoga or tai chi -- something that will help me to increase my strength and flexibility a bit and keep things from getting tight and restricted. 

But, in order to include swimming in my life, I needed to introduce Cura to a new experience.  More often than not, she is within a few feet of me -- even when I am home and she is relaxing.  At the very most she is upstairs when I am down or she is in the front of a classroom while I am wandering among students.  If I was going to start swimming, she was going to need to lay calmly by the pool while I swam laps in the pool.  Since the pool was in a gym, she was going to have to resist any urge that she had to go for a swim herself and she was going to need to learn to come to me when I called -- but not by going through the water.  She needed to know that she had to go around the pool rather than take the shortest route to me. 

So, a new mission for Cura, myself, and the trainers.  We have been going swimming fairly regularly now for a few weeks and things are going quite well.  Cura has even gotten so used to the routine that one time she got up and started in the direction of the woman's locker room/sauna/steam room/jacuzzi (they are all in the same direction) after 20 minutes.  Up until that point, I had limited my swim time to 20 minutes -- I guess she figured it was time for us to be done!  She came back promptly when I called her, but it made me realize that as I extend my swimming time, I am going to have to reiterate the stay after about 20 minutes -- at least for a bit. 

I find this development quite interesting.  You see, Cura has been trained to hold her stay indefinitley if I am in the room with her -- but if I am out of sight, she is expected to break her stay after about 10-15 minutes and come find me (a safeguard in the event I need her help but was not able to call for her).  So, I think Cura might have lost track of me in the water and decided that she needed to go find me!  Not an altogether bad thing -- but it means that I need to 'check in' with her every once in awhile so she knows I am still in the pool and that she should stay put!

All in all, the experience has been a good one and my stamina in the water is slowly improving.  We still have the occassional training session at the gym -- making sure that Cura can perform a recovery series in the different environment and that she is on the ball with all she needs to know.  But, for the most part, she has settled in and is taking the gym in stride.

Why a Service Dog?

Since just before the first of the year, I have been working on making some adjustments in my life -- not New Year's Resolutions (I think I mentioned before that I don't really do those) -- but focusing my energies in different directions. The process involves several meetings/interviews with various people to determine the best direction to proceed. This past week, I met with a couple of different (new) individuals and spent quite a bit of time answering tons of questions. Not exactly my favorite thing -- carrying on conversations about myself with people who I have just met -- in fact I find these things very uncomfortable. But, I survived and am moving forward with the process.

And why am I sharing this? Well, each time, the conversation inevitably came around to the topic of my having a Service Dog . . . how did I come to have one, what does she do for me, how long have I had her . . . those types of things. All of these are questions that I have encountered on a number of occasions and have gotten pretty good at fielding. I was under the mistaken impression that I had encountered all the different questions that would come up -- maybe worded differently -- but essentially the same thing. Well, I was taken by surprise . . .

When I explained that one of the things that Cura helped me with was my balance, I was asked why I hadn't just gotten a cane . . . or maybe it was had I ever thought of getting a cane instead. I honestly don't really remember the exact wording. It is hard to explain all of the emotions that I felt when I heard the question (and there were a lot of them) -- but it definitely left me speechless. I mean, how does one answer that question in a way that makes sense to a person who would compare Cura's value to me with a cane? I must confess, that when I finally found the words, they sounded very clinical -- pointing out the things that Cura did that I would not be able to accomplish with a cane. But I found the question pretty offensive. Cura may be placed in the same category, legally, as things like canes and wheelchairs, but she is not some inanimate object to be leaned or parked in a corner someplace when not in use! Not to mention that she does so much more for me than any of those things could.  ***I realized when re-reading this before posting, that the statement about Cura not being put in a corner "when not in use" was not exactly accurate . . . she is frequently lying nearby, out of the way, when we are out and about - and sometimes it is in a corner.  The difference is that she is always on duty in those instances, ready to step up and help when asked (and sometimes without being asked).  But hopefully everyone gets the point I was trying to make.***

I honestly thought that the most disturbing question I would ever encounter was some version of "What is wrong with you, why do you need a Service Dog?" You know, the one where some stranger feels they have the right to ask for and receive a run down of my personal medical condition(s). The one where they expect me to justify my need for a Service Dog . . . oh, and then they play the "I didn't mean to offend you" card when I politely inform them that it is not appropriate/polite to ask a person that question (Gotta LOVE that!). Anticipating this invasion of my privacy, I have tried out various responses to date, some more comfortable and successful than others. But, this last week showed me that there were other disturbing questions that could -- and would -- be asked. To date, the most disturbing question that I have been asked infers that a lovely, generous creature, both dedicated to and successful in improving my life, is no different than an inanimate piece of medical equipment!

Please, if you are a person without a Service Dog that is reading this blog, try to remember that not everyone wishes to share their personal medical history with a stranger -- be honest, would you? (very seldom am I offended if someone asks nicely, it is simply none of their business!) More importantly from my perspective, our Service Dogs are both physically and emotionally important to our daily life. That means that -- despite what the law says -- instead of seeing them as a piece of medical equipment, we frequently see them as a new lease on life. They open doors for us that were previously closed or difficult to navigate. No matter how successful I have been in maintaining an outward picture of calm and comfort in many situations, that is all it is -- a picture. The reality was (and, to some extent, still is) very different. But Cura makes all that easier -- respect her, and me, for it.

Please, think before you speak or ask a question -- if you honestly would not mind being spoken to in such a way or asked such a question . . . well, fair enough (though I hope you will be open to the reality that your comfort zone may be different from others), but if you would rather not be spoken to in such a way or would not like to answer such a question -- don't expect another person to be comfortable either.

Imperfection . . . a key to learning

No . . . I am definitely NOT perfect and Thursday was a clear example of this fact!  It was probably the first truly "bad day" of training that I have had since Cura came home.

I am not a morning person . . . whenever possible I avoid setting appointments that require me to be walking out the door before 8:30am.  First, for those of you who are sitting there shaking your head and thinking "8:30!  I get up at (fill in the blank with an earlier time)", let me point out that I am frequently still awake in the wee hours of the morning, so being out and about by 8:30-9:00 in the morning is pretty darn good.  I am trying to adjust my sleep schedule to resemble something more human, but it is definitely a work in progress.  Second, this doesn't mean I am not up earlier (though it can), only that I attempt to limit my exposure to the outside world before then.  In fact, I try to limit my exposure to the inside world as well (no one should have to deal with me in the morning -- I can be grumpy).  Unfortunately, the world sometimes requires me to be up and out of the house earlier than I would like.  But, instead of moving forward my rising time so that I still have time to go through my morning routine in a leisurely manner, I usually sleep as late as possible and rush around like a mad woman to get ready and out of the house on time.  I share this about myself as an explanation of what contributed to the bad day -- not to excuse it.  Thursday was one of those early days -- fortunately, that afternoon was also a training day or I may have never realized what I was doing.

Now, Cura is simply not used to being asked to go through our morning routine so early, let alone while I am rushed.  If there is one thing that I have gotten pretty good at during the past nine months (WOW -- it has been that long since Cura came home) it is to make sure to avoid being rushed.  Cura just works better that way and my stress levels remain more manageable.  Thursday reinforced the need for that -- though I am not sure it would have made much difference since Cura was taken on her walk and given her breakfast about 2-3 hours earlier than normal -- but not being rushed will help to eliminate or lower my frustration levels, at the very least.

I am not going to go through a play by play of the day -- I am still trying to keep posts on the shorter side -- but I will say that my frustration levels continued to climb and, as they did, Cura's behavior became more and more fussy.  Fortunately, we had a short break between the commitments of the morning and our training session that afternoon.  Cura took a nap and I tried to get some course prep work done.  I viewed it as a 'reset' for the day and, by the time we met Rick and Heather, I was convinced that I had successfully released my frustrations from the morning.  But, I was mistaken.

Almost as soon as we began working, Rick and Heather were able to point out to me that I was being unusually impatient with Cura.  What was I doing?  My tone of voice with her was more stern than normal.  I was not clearly letting Cura know what I wanted of her -- and would correct her when she got it wrong.  My corrections were more harsh than necessary (Cura usually only needs a verbal reminder or a little flick on the leash to get her back on task).  The result?  Cura was jumpy.  She was trying, but (big shock) was not able to read my mind.  She didn't understand why she was being corrected -- so the corrections were not only on the harsh side, but completely ineffective.  So, to put it simply . . . I was being a HUGE bu**head!

When my behavior was brought to my attention, I was appalled!  (By the way, thanks Heather!)  I felt like such a heel.  I am not sure what I was more upset about . . . the fact that I had been behaving so harshly or that I had not even realized it!  I felt horrible!  I was allowing my earlier frustrations to affect the way I was interacting with Cura -- NOT acceptable!  I was breaking a very important rule of training -- never train in anger/frustration.  For the rest of the night, I broke another important rule of training -- don't dwell on the past.  I found myself trying to 'make up' for my previous behavior and showered Cura with love and affection.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but I actually woke her up a couple of times to do it (not ideal)!  Fortunately, by the next morning, I had let it go and we have had some very successful and productive days, training wise.

Now, you may be wondering why I chose to write about something that I claim to have moved on from.  After all, if I have truly "let it go", why feel the need to share?  I did struggle with this, but decided to post on this experience for a couple of reasons.  First, I think it is important to share both "positive" and "negative" experiences.  This blog is about the realities of training my own service dog and sharing those experiences with others.  So far, the experiences have been on the 'warm fuzzies' side.  Oh sure, I have shared our challenges, but they have not been overly difficult to deal with and, consequently, the posts portrayed my overall positive and optimistic approach to every experience.  Thursday was not a 'warm fuzzie' day and I think it is important to recognize that the training process is not all sweetness and light.  It is hard and there will be days that I make mistakes -- that does not make me a bad person or a bad trainer, it makes me human.  It is important to embrace the fact that I will not always do things perfectly, which leads me to the second reason I wrote this post.  When I make mistakes, it is important to evaluate them, resolve to avoid the same mistakes in the future, and then MOVE ON!  Cura is not holding a grudge.  Almost as soon as my behavior changed, her jumpiness subsided and we have made significant progress.  Allowing my mistakes to color my behavior with Cura (apart from learning from them) can be just as counterproductive as allowing my frustrations to affect my behavior.

So, when you are training your dog (service or pet) remember . . . you will make mistakes!  Recognize them, learn from them, and then move on.